I love stories. When I was young, I did not want to have ugly feelings, so I only read happy stories. I watched happy movies. I filled my head with silly, fluffy stories of girls who looked pretty and met boys who were always nice and everything came together perfectly and everyone lived happily after.… Continue reading No Complaints
Remember Dr Doolittle?? I barely do, if I’m honest. I’m a little surprised about that, because it seems like it should have been the kind of movie we would have watched a million times in my family, but we didn’t. In any event, I was reflecting today on myself and my life and my expression… Continue reading My Mascot Is A Pushmi Pullyu
Raising a ten year old is like simultaneously having two tiny stalkers, or maybe one tiny stalker with Dissociative Identity Disorder. One personality stalks you unrelentingly for the purpose of worshiping you and the ground you walk on because ohmygodyouaresocool. The other personality stalks you unrelentingly to make sure you know that you are, in fact, undeniably stupid, and that… Continue reading The Smallish Stalker
For just about as long as I can remember, my biggest fear in life has been that I might grow up to be … wait for it… a bitch. Gasp! Shudder!! Faint! This is obviously a fate worse than death, and therefore to be avoided at all costs. In the interests of complete bitch immunity,… Continue reading Can I Just Be A Bitch For A Minute??
Since I was twelve, I have wanted to be forty. I have just been waiting and knowing that it was going to be spectacular. Last year, I was 39. Thirty-nine!!! So close! The anticipation was palpable. Except that at thirty-nine years old, I found myself sporting the worst case of acne I have EVER had… Continue reading My Chocolate Martini Face
Do you know those people who divorce and then get remarried to the same person? And then everyone else stands around scratching their heads wondering what just happened? I’m starting to understand. Something near three years ago, The Irishman and I started seeing each other. Now, I’m prepared to admit that I moved in way… Continue reading My Two Household Family
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