Muggle Struggle

Did you know yesterday was the 35th anniversary of Voldemort’s attack on the Potters? Because yesterday was the 35th anniversary of Voldemort’s attack on the Potters.

 

Stephen King advised me a while ago that incessant reading is the straightest path to good writing, so I am dedicating myself to these two activities in turns, and it’s an exceptionally enjoyable life, I must say. Though it does present with certain complications. Example – I read all eight books in the Harry Potter series over the course of the last eight days. It was my original intention to complete them within one week, but that turned out to be a smidge out of reach as I did actually have a couple other things to do, effectively preventing me from making this goal my top priority. (Adulthood. LAME.)

Leaving the house has been awkward. Having submersed myself so entirely into the wizarding culture (wearing my Hogwarts t-shirt even now… Ten points to Gryffindor!!), I find I am ill at ease in the world of our so-called “reality”. The Muggle world, whatever Arthur Weasley may say about it, can be rather disappointing.

 

I have no house elf. This is painfully apparent after eight days of being intensely occupied with reading. This place is a mess.

I have no Pensieve. Thoughts are regularly extracted from my brain, certainly, but it’s not entirely deliberate, and once removed, I don’t know where they go.

I have no Invisibility Cloak. When I walk out to the mailbox in my pajamas, everyone sees that shit.

My car does not fly. Nor does it act independently to rescue me from arachnid antagonists.

Our society suffers from a scandalous lack of Butterbeer.

I literally do not know a single, solitary person who can transform into a big black dog.

I get zero advice from Dumbledore.

I know the answers to lots of questions and I don’t get so much as one house point for any of it.

All the bad people are not readily discernible by their Slytherin house colors &/or snakey faces.

Did I mention I really need a House Elf?

 

The Muggle Struggle. It’s real.

 

Another thing I became aware of is that there is not enough surreptitious behavior in my life. Man, everybody in the wizarding world is all up in the surreptitiousness. Glancing surreptitiously, pocketing things surreptitiously, moving through corridors surreptitiously. I’m not sure I’ve done a legitimately surreptitious thing in my life. Guess it’s time to start.

I cannot help but be more and more impressed every time I read that series. What a good story, and well told. I think I may make the re-read a Halloween tradition in years to come.

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